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Andy Rooney

“Computers make it easier to do a lot of things, but most of the things they make it easier to do don’t need to be done.”
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Peter Sellers

“There used to be a real me, but I had it surgically removed.”
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James Thurber

“Her own mother lived the latter years of her life in the horrible suspicion that electricity was dripping invisibly all over the house.”
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Carl Zwanzig

“Duct tape is like the force. It has a light side, a dark side, and it holds the universe together….”
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Jean Sibelius

“Pay no attention to what the critics say… Remember, a statue has never been set up in honor of a critic!”
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Alan Kay

“The best way to predict the future is to invent it.”
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Isaac Asimov

“Part of the inhumanity of the computer is that, once it is competently programmed and working smoothly, it is completely honest.”
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Woody Allen

“What if nothing exists and we’re all in somebody’s dream? Or what’s worse, what if only that fat guy in the third row exists?”
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T. S. Eliot

“Humor is also a way of saying something serious.”
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Martin Mull

“Human beings are seventy percent water, and with some the rest is collagen.”
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