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P. J. O’Rourke

“When buying and selling are controlled by legislation, the first things to be bought and sold are legislators.”
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Sir William Bragg

“God runs electromagnetics by wave theory on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, and the Devil runs them by quantum theory on Tuesday, Thursday, and Saturday.”
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Doctor Who

“First things first, but not necessarily in that order.”
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Henry David Thoreau

“Every generation laughs at the old fashions, but follows religiously the new.”
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Ellen DeGeneres

“I don’t understand the sizes anymore. There’s a size zero, which I didn’t even know that they had. It must stand for: ‘Ohhh my God, you’re thin.'”
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Mel Brooks

“If God wanted us to fly, He would have given us tickets.”
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Kurt Vonnegut

“Beware of the man who works hard to learn something, learns it, and finds himself no wiser than before… He is full of murderous resentment of people who are ignorant without having come by their ignorance the hard way.”
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Mark Twain

“A classic is something that everybody wants to have read and nobody wants to read.”
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H. L. Mencken

“It is inaccurate to say that I hate everything. I am strongly in favor of common sense, common honesty, and common decency. This makes me forever ineligible for public office.”
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Anonymous

“Write a wise saying and your name will live forever.”
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