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Elbert Hubbard

“Never explain–your friends do not need it and your enemies will not believe you anyway.”
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Groucho Marx

“Money frees you from doing things you dislike. Since I dislike doing nearly everything, money is handy.”
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Henry J. Tillman

“The world is my lobster.”
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Robert Benchley

“The surest way to make a monkey of a man is to quote him.”
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King Edward VIII

“The thing that impresses me the most about America is the way parents obey their children.”
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Liza Minnelli

“Reality is something you rise above.”
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Gore Vidal

“Any American who is prepared to run for president should automatically, by definition, be disqualified from ever doing so.”
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Franklin P. Adams

“There are plenty of good five-cent cigars in the country. The trouble is they cost a quarter. What this country needs is a good five-cent nickel.”
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John Updike

“A healthy male adult bore consumes each year one and a half times his own weight in other people’s patience.”
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Bertrand Russell

“One should as a rule respect public opinion in so far as is necessary to avoid starvation and to keep out of prison, but anything that goes beyond this is voluntary submission to an unnecessary tyranny, and is likely to interfere with happiness in all kinds of ways.”
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