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Wilson Mizner

“Those who welcome death have only tried it from the ears up.”
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Janet Long

“Part of being sane, is being a little bit crazy.”
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Ogden Nash

“Middle age is when you’ve met so many people that every new person you meet reminds you of someone else.”
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Ed Gardner

“Opera is when a guy gets stabbed in the back and, instead of bleeding, he sings.”
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Stanislaw J. Lec

“You must first have a lot of patience to learn to have patience.”
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Steven Wright

“I used to work in a fire hydrant factory. You couldn’t park anywhere near the place.”
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Edward Bulwer-Lytton

“A life of pleasure makes even the strongest mind frivolous at last.”
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Mae West

“Marriage is a great institution, but I’m not ready for an institution yet.”
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Piet Hein

“A lifetime is more than sufficiently long for people to get what there is of it wrong.”
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Bertrand Russell

“The people who are regarded as moral luminaries are those who forego ordinary pleasures themselves and find compensation in interfering with the pleasures of others.”
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