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Will Rogers

“You can’t say that civilization don’t advance, however, for in every war they kill you in a new way.”
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Nathaniel Borenstein

“The most likely way for the world to be destroyed, most experts agree, is by accident. That’s where we come in; we’re computer professionals. We cause accidents.”
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Hermann Hesse

“When dealing with the insane, the best method is to pretend to be sane.”
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Unknown

“Eat a live toad the first thing in the morning and nothing worse will happen to you the rest of the day.”
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Herbert Rappaport

“I hope that while so many people are out smelling the flowers, someone is taking the time to plant some.”
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George Bernard Shaw

“My way of joking is to tell the truth. It is the funniest joke in the world.”
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Robert Bloch

“I have the heart of a child. I keep it in a jar on my shelf.”
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Malcolm Forbes

“Men who never get carried away should be.”
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Garrison Keillor

“I believe in looking reality straight in the eye and denying it.”
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Emo Phillips

“At my lemonade stand I used to give the first glass away free and charge five dollars for the second glass. The refill contained the antidote.”
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