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Bill Barnes and Gene Ambaum

“Not every story has explosions and car chases. That’s why they have nudity and espionage.”
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Orson Welles

“My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four. Unless there are three other people.”
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Vicomte de Chateaubriand

“You are not superior just because you see the world in an odious light.”
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Ambrose Bierce

“Brain: an apparatus with which we think we think.”
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H. L. Mencken

“Democracy is the theory that the common people know what they want and deserve to get it good and hard.”
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John Tudor

“A rumor without a leg to stand on will get around some other way.”
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Fats Domino

“A lot of fellows nowadays have a B.A., M.D., or Ph.D. Unfortunately, they don’t have a J.O.B.”
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Charles Peters

“Bureaucrats write memoranda both because they appear to be busy when they are writing and because the memos, once written, immediately become proof that they were busy.”
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Ann Landers

“Television has proved that people will look at anything rather than each other.”
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Harrison Ford

“Nothing shocks me. I’m a scientist.”
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