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Ambrose Bierce

“Brain: an apparatus with which we think we think.”
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H. L. Mencken

“Democracy is the theory that the common people know what they want and deserve to get it good and hard.”
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John Tudor

“A rumor without a leg to stand on will get around some other way.”
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Fats Domino

“A lot of fellows nowadays have a B.A., M.D., or Ph.D. Unfortunately, they don’t have a J.O.B.”
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Charles Peters

“Bureaucrats write memoranda both because they appear to be busy when they are writing and because the memos, once written, immediately become proof that they were busy.”
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Ann Landers

“Television has proved that people will look at anything rather than each other.”
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Harrison Ford

“Nothing shocks me. I’m a scientist.”
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Mark Twain

“Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.”
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Jack Benny

“I don’t deserve this award, but I have arthritis and I don’t deserve that either.”
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Adrienne E. Gusoff

“Living hell is the best revenge.”
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