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Mark Twain

“In the first place, God made idiots. That was for practice. Then he made school boards.”
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Bette Midler

“I never know how much of what I say is true.”
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Alice James

“One has a greater sense of intellectual degradation after an interview with a doctor than from any human experience.”
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Richard Feynman

“The first principle is that you must not fool yourself – and you are the easiest person to fool.”
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Elbert Hubbard

“Life is just one damned thing after another.”
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Woody Allen

“I don’t want to achieve immortality through my work… I want to achieve it through not dying.”
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Simeon Strunsky

“Famous remarks are very seldom quoted correctly.”
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Unknown

“People are more violently opposed to fur than leather because it’s safer to harass rich women than motorcycle gangs.”
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Unknown

“I have not lost my mind – it’s backed up on disk somewhere.”
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Laurence J. Peter

“Everyone rises to their level of incompetence.”
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