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Franklin P. Adams

“There are plenty of good five-cent cigars in the country. The trouble is they cost a quarter. What this country needs is a good five-cent nickel.”
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John Updike

“A healthy male adult bore consumes each year one and a half times his own weight in other people’s patience.”
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Bertrand Russell

“One should as a rule respect public opinion in so far as is necessary to avoid starvation and to keep out of prison, but anything that goes beyond this is voluntary submission to an unnecessary tyranny, and is likely to interfere with happiness in all kinds of ways.”
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Doug Ferrari

“MTV is the lava lamp of the 1980’s.”
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H. L. Mencken

“It is the dull man who is always sure, and the sure man who is always dull.”
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Wilson Mizner

“Those who welcome death have only tried it from the ears up.”
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Janet Long

“Part of being sane, is being a little bit crazy.”
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Ogden Nash

“Middle age is when you’ve met so many people that every new person you meet reminds you of someone else.”
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Ed Gardner

“Opera is when a guy gets stabbed in the back and, instead of bleeding, he sings.”
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Stanislaw J. Lec

“You must first have a lot of patience to learn to have patience.”
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