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Oscar Wilde

“The only way to get rid of a temptation is to yield to it.”
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Jilly Cooper

“The male is a domestic animal which, if treated with firmness, can be trained to do most things.”
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Tom Wilson

“These days an income is something you can’t live without–or within.”
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Will Rogers

“Everything is funny as long as it is happening to Somebody Else.”
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Peter De Vries

“It is the final proof of God’s omnipotence that he need not exist in order to save us.”
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George Bernard Shaw

“The fact that a believer is happier than a skeptic is no more to the point than the fact that a drunken man is happier than a sober one.”
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James Reston

“This is the devilish thing about foreign affairs: they are foreign and will not always conform to our whim.”
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Lily Tomlin

“The trouble with the rat race is that even if you win, you’re still a rat.”
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Voltaire

“Anything too stupid to be said is sung.”
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Doug Larson

“The aging process has you firmly in its grasp if you never get the urge to throw a snowball.”
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