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Laurence J. Peter

“Every man serves a useful purpose: A miser, for example, makes a wonderful ancestor.”
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Unknown

“A friend is someone who will help you move. A real friend is someone who will help you move a body.”
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C. S. Lewis

“When I became a man I put away childish things, including the fear of childishness and the desire to be very grown up.”
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Elbert Hubbard

“Never explain–your friends do not need it and your enemies will not believe you anyway.”
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Groucho Marx

“Money frees you from doing things you dislike. Since I dislike doing nearly everything, money is handy.”
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Henry J. Tillman

“The world is my lobster.”
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Robert Benchley

“The surest way to make a monkey of a man is to quote him.”
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King Edward VIII

“The thing that impresses me the most about America is the way parents obey their children.”
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Liza Minnelli

“Reality is something you rise above.”
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Gore Vidal

“Any American who is prepared to run for president should automatically, by definition, be disqualified from ever doing so.”
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