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Russell Baker

“People who say you’re just as old as you feel are all wrong, fortunately.”
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Henry Ward Beecher

“The power of hiding ourselves from one another is mercifully given, for men are wild beasts, and would devour one another but for this protection.”
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George Wallace

“Why does the Air Force need expensive new bombers? Have the people we’ve been bombing over the years been complaining?”
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Arthur C. Clarke

“CNN is one of the participants in the war. I have a fantasy where Ted Turner is elected president but refuses because he doesn’t want to give up power.”
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Demetri Martin

“I go to the gym religiously. About twice a year around the holidays.”
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Benjamin Disraeli

“There are three kinds of lies: lies, damned lies, and statistics.”
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Peter De Vries

“The murals in restaurants are on par with the food in museums.”
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Frank Zappa

“Art is making something out of nothing and selling it.”
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Ralph Waldo Emerson

“There is properly no history, only biography.”
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Havelock Ellis

“What we call ‘Progress’ is the exchange of one nuisance for another nuisance.”
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