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Charles De Gaulle

“I have come to the conclusion that politics are too serious a matter to be left to the politicians.”
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Douglas Adams

“He hoped and prayed that there wasn’t an afterlife. Then he realized there was a contradiction involved here and merely hoped that there wasn’t an afterlife.”
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Tom Lehrer

“On my income tax 1040 it says ‘Check this box if you are blind.’ I wanted to put a check mark about three inches away.”
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George Winters

“If God had really intended men to fly, he’d make it easier to get to the airport.”
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John Lennon

“Would those of you in the cheaper seats clap your hands? And the rest of you, if you’ll just rattle your jewelry.”
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H. L. Mencken

“Under democracy one party always devotes its chief energies to trying to prove that the other party is unfit to rule – and both commonly succeed, and are right.”
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G. K. Chesterton

“I believe in getting into hot water; it keeps you clean.”
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Bob Edwards

“When Solomon said there was a time and a place for everything he had not encountered the problem of parking his automobile.”
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George Bernard Shaw

“Life does not cease to be funny when people die any more than it ceases to be serious when people laugh.”
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Sam Levenson

“Somewhere on this globe, every ten seconds, there is a woman giving birth to a child. She must be found and stopped.”
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