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Will Rogers

“I don’t make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts.”
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George Burns

“Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.”
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Mark Twain

“It is by the goodness of God that in our country we have those three unspeakably precious things: freedom of speech, freedom of conscience, and the prudence never to practice either of them.”
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Lord Brabazon

“I take the view, and always have, that if you cannot say what you are going to say in twenty minutes you ought to go away and write a book about it.”
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Benjamin Disraeli

“The best way to become acquainted with a subject is to write a book about it.”
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Fred Allen

“Television is a new medium. It’s called a medium because nothing is well-done.”
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Malaclypse the Younger

“‘Tis an ill wind that blows no minds.”
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Robert M. Hamilton

“A book of quotations . . . can never be complete.”
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L. M. Boyd

“There are 350 varieties of shark, not counting loan and pool.”
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William Shakespeare

“He is winding the watch of his wit; by and by it will strike.”
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