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George Winters

“If God had really intended men to fly, he’d make it easier to get to the airport.”
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John Lennon

“Would those of you in the cheaper seats clap your hands? And the rest of you, if you’ll just rattle your jewelry.”
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H. L. Mencken

“Under democracy one party always devotes its chief energies to trying to prove that the other party is unfit to rule – and both commonly succeed, and are right.”
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G. K. Chesterton

“I believe in getting into hot water; it keeps you clean.”
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Bob Edwards

“When Solomon said there was a time and a place for everything he had not encountered the problem of parking his automobile.”
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George Bernard Shaw

“Life does not cease to be funny when people die any more than it ceases to be serious when people laugh.”
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Sam Levenson

“Somewhere on this globe, every ten seconds, there is a woman giving birth to a child. She must be found and stopped.”
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Unknown

“Cats are intended to teach us that not everything in nature has a function.”
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Franklin P. Jones

“It’s the opinion of some that crops could be grown on the moon. Which raises the fear that it may not be long before we’re paying somebody not to.”
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A. Whitney Brown

“That is the saving grace of humor, if you fail no one is laughing at you.”
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