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Groucho Marx

“Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms.”
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Will Rogers

“You know everybody is ignorant, only on different subjects.”
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Mark Twain

“It usually takes more than three weeks to prepare a good impromptu speech.”
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Matt Groening

“Love is a snowmobile racing across the tundra and then suddenly it flips over, pinning you underneath. At night, the ice weasels come.”
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H. L. Mencken

“The chief value of money lies in the fact that one lives in a world in which it is overestimated.”
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Christopher Lasch

“Nothing succeeds like the appearance of success.”
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Captain Lawrence Oates

“I am just going outside and may be some time.”
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Joe Martin

“The most overlooked advantage to owning a computer is that if they foul up there’s no law against wacking them around a little.”
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Henry Kissinger

“The nice thing about being a celebrity is that when you bore people, they think it’s their fault.”
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G. H. Hardy

“It is not worth an intelligent man’s time to be in the majority. By definition, there are already enough people to do that.”
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