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Will Rogers

“On account of being a democracy and run by the people, we are the only nation in the world that has to keep a government four years, no matter what it does.”
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Ambrose Bierce

“Barometer, n.: An ingenious instrument which indicates what kind of weather we are having.”
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Chico Marx

“Mustard’s no good without roast beef.”
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Robert Heinlein

“Writing is not necessarily something to be ashamed of, but do it in private and wash your hands afterwards.”
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Charles M. Schulz

“There’s a difference between a philosophy and a bumper sticker.”
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Edgar Bergen

“Ambition is a poor excuse for not having sense enough to be lazy.”
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Woody Allen

“Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.”
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George F. Will

“Football is a mistake. It combines the two worst elements of American life. Violence and committee meetings.”
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L. L. Henderson

“Fathers send their sons to college either because they went to college or because they didn’t.”
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Segal’s Law

“A man with a watch knows what time it is. A man with two watches is never sure.”
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