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Samuel Goldwyn

“I never put on a pair of shoes until I’ve worn them at least five years.”
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George Carlin

“Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck.”
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P. J. Plauger

“My definition of an expert in any field is a person who knows enough about what’s really going on to be scared.”
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Hunter S. Thompson

“I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity to anyone, but they’ve always worked for me.”
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Friedrich Nietzsche

“It is hard enough to remember my opinions, without also remembering my reasons for them!”
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Tom Robbins

“If little else, the brain is an educational toy.”
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Voltaire

“If God did not exist, it would be necessary to invent him.”
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Georg Christoph Lichtenberg

“To do just the opposite is also a form of imitation.”
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Robert Orben

“Quit worrying about your health. It’ll go away.”
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Woody Allen

“There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman?”
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