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George Bernard Shaw

“The power of accurate observation is commonly called cynicism by those who have not got it.”
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George Bernard Shaw

“The longer I live the more I see that I am never wrong about anything, and that all the pains I have so humbly taken to verify my notions have only wasted my time.”
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Unknown

“Any sufficiently advanced bureaucracy is indistinguishable from molasses.”
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Abba Eban

“History teaches us that men and nations behave wisely once they have exhausted all other alternatives.”
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Woody Allen

“When I was kidnapped, my parents snapped into action. They rented out my room.”
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Jerry Seinfeld

“It’s amazing that the amount of news that happens in the world every day always just exactly fits the newspaper.”
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Dave Barry

“Skiing combines outdoor fun with knocking down trees with your face.”
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Dorothy Parker

“I’m never going to be famous. My name will never be writ large on the roster of Those Who Do Things. I don’t do any thing. Not one single thing. I used to bite my nails, but I don’t even do that any more.”
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Mark Twain

“Never put off until tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.”
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E. W. Dijkstra

“The question of whether a computer can think is no more interesting than the question of whether a submarine can swim.”
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